Call it what you like.
Fate, providence or destiny. I
prefer serendipity - those times when life events come together to declare the
world is as it should be. So often,
daily occurrences seem to have no rhyme or reason. Give me something to make
sense of my world. Serendipity does. It provides
comfort to my soul, and compares to the feeling I get when wrapped in the warm
embrace of someone I love.
I experienced a serendipitous few days when three seemingly
unrelated events occurred this past week:
the distribution of my son’s high school yearbook; an article about
regrets, and a funeral. If each event
had happened independent of the others, their impact on my life would not have
been as significant as all three happening within a very short time frame.
It may be easy to surmise why an article about regrets
relates to a funeral, but what about the yearbook? Yearbooks commemorate the past school year,
generally covering a wide range of topics including academics, student life,
sports and other major school events.
Oftentimes, they also include, much to the chagrin of this former
yearbook editor, a section for those who were voted “class celebrities” by
their peers. This section includes
photos of those most likely to succeed, cutest couple, class clowns, most
spirited, etc. I have always had a problem with featuring the mock election
results because I think a yearbook should represent all students, not highlight
the popular few.
In this case, the yearbook staff understood that and nailed
it. While they included the results of the mock election inside, on the cover,
in red overlay are the words What We Live
For. At first, I thought it was a
stock cover they ordered from the publisher.
Not so. The words and phrases
peeking out from beneath the over-lay were actual student responses when asked
what they live for. Learning this, I
spent a half hour reading the cover before I even cracked open the book. Sometimes younger folks provide profound
moral insight beyond their years. This is one of those times.
Of course, every sport imaginable was there, as were many
simple things that provide daily pleasure.
Things like peanut butter and jelly, French silk pie, coffee, dogs, cats,
fashion, music, late summer walks, laughter and popcorn. Some responses, however, were much deeper. They were notions such as faith, the greater
good, being as happy as I can be, love, my family, my passions, a friend’s smile
and my dreams. Then there was one that
jumped off the page at me, living life
with no regrets. Didn’t I just read
something about that? I did.
In her book Regrets of
the Dying, Bronnie Ware, a long-time palliative care professional, writes
about the common themes that surface when the dying speak of their regrets. In her blog (www.inspirationandchai.com), Ware lists
the five most common do-overs people
would choose if they had a chance. They
are: to have the courage to live a life
true to myself, not what others expected of me; to not work so hard; to have
the courage to express my feelings; to have stayed in touch with my friends and,
to let myself be happier.
Ware said the most common regret of all was not living a
life true to one’s self, and the realization that it all came down to the
choices they had made. Choice. Did I mention that was on the cover too?
A few days ago, I attended the funeral of a friend’s father,
a man I barely knew. The eulogy was
delivered by his pastor, a man who knew him well. The pastor spoke of the choices the man had
made throughout his life. Good
choices. Choices a man would never
regret. Absolute love and devotion to
his soul mate – a woman he was married to for almost 60 years – and his children,
as well as their families and spouses.
He surrounded himself with friends, as was evident by the number of
older men in attendance. He was a man of
faith and remained true to it until his final breath. Indicative of his belief in serving the
greater good, he received veteran’s honors at his funeral. One of the man’s most significant traits was
his genuine display of happiness. He smiled all the time.
Feeling the serendipity yet? We know what we live for. Some of us even have the luxury of having it
printed on a book cover for perpetuity. The
key is making the choice to remain true to ourselves. High school
students take heed. May you rest in
peace Charlie. You showed us how to do
it right.
Copyright 2013 Carol M.W. Bagazinski. All rights reserved.
